The Hottest Games for every console this month!

The Nintendo Switch launched last night so I need to get in on that clickbait with Zelda Breath Of The Wild!

Step into a world of discovery, exploration and adventure in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, a boundary-breaking new game in the acclaimed series. Travel across fields, through forests and to mountain peaks as you discover what has become of the ruined kingdom of Hyrule in this stunning open-air adventure.

In Zelda Breath Of the Wild you will explore the world of Hyrule and whether or not main character Link is in fact 30 cats packed into a pair of tights?

A popular fan theory for years even barely addressed by Hyrule Historia it has inspired many fans to dress their cats up like Link to prove the similarities.

Years ago Miyamoto had the cast of Mario dressed like cats, could that be a hint that the opposite is true in the land of Hyrule and there is a series of cats acting like a man and hero?

 

Horizon Zero Dawn for PS4 is  an exhilarating new action role playing game exclusively for the PlayStation 4 system, developed by the award winning Guerrilla Games, creatos of PlayStation’s venerated Killzone franchise. As Horizon Zero Dawn’s main protagonist Aloy, a skilled hunter, explore a vibrant and lush world inhabited by mysterious mechanized creatures.

The sequel to 2015’s until Dawn I’m glad to see the improvements this franchise has made.  No more unlikable stereotypical movie teenagers, Saw ripoff plotlines, weird ass native american totems that show the future and are never explained, and “choose your own adventure” choices that don’t really matter and an emphasis on hunting this world and the creatures that live in it.

Persona 5 is a game about the internal and external conflicts of a group of troubled high school students – the protagonist and a collection of compatriots he meets in the game’s story – who live dual lives as Phantom Thieves.  You already knew that though right?   What do you mean you’ve never heard of Persona you stupid fuck?   You’re the cancer that’s killing gaming you know that play a real RPG instead of that mass effect off-brand-gears of war bullshit you fuckhead.  You’re either going to be getting this for PS4 or PS3 or killing yourself.  I’m not even kidding if you don’t fucks with persona don’t even come back to my site and fuck you.  I hate people like you.

With Nier Automata even PC gets in on the action!  NieR: Automata is an upcoming action role-playing game developed by PlatinumGames and published by Square Enix for the PlayStation 4 and PC. The game is set in the same universe as NieR, a spin-off of the Drakengard series(read the section above about persona and double it if you’ve never heard of Drakengard), and takes place several thousand years after the events of that game. Humanity has fled to the moon to escape an invading machine army from another world. Combat androids called YoRHa remain on the planet to fight in a proxy war against the invaders.

This is something you need to cop day one.  My nigga Yokotaro with my niggas at platinum games about to take this shit to a whole ‘nother level ya heard me?   MVP, game of the year shit fuck what you talking about nigga!

and in Xbox one games we got…daaaaaamn really son?  You might think I’m doing Xbox dirty and yeah  full disclosure I stopped fucking with them on a business level when they rolled out that sorry ass x box one, it was a national embarassment and they KNEW it, they KNOW it, but yeah ok let’s see if Arcade and fucking Cars 2 can carry you from not having any fucking games until AUGUST?  If you bought an Xbox you got a LOT of Call of Duty in your future…I mean yeah you COULD get injustice or Tekken and play online with nobody at this point.

This shit is just sorry…I’m sorry I didn’t want the article to be like this or come off like we throwin shade but I mean if I’m going to write about the best games coming out that month they gotta do their part too.

Ok fuck it we’re going to start over again ignore everything above editor delete that we’re going to say something positive about Xbox even if we have to go a few months ago.

ready 3…2…1 action!

Xbox…..is busy making….great titles for an undetermined date as of this time but currently they do have …….Kitty Powers Matchmaker

oh that’s on PS4 too…ok I can’t really blow smoke up your ass they got Minecraft  and Killer Instinct that’s it the same shit they had the last time you looked, it’s not like anyone is buying them anyways I’m just gonna leave them out of these things from now on it’s just sad and awkward.

So these are the hottest games for every console!  pretty much…

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